poordom

Today I got my paycheck. First and Fifteenth. But it's different this time - my new health insurance kicked in. I forgot this when I went to check my balance this morning.

I've come to the brutally honest realization that I am poor. I went over to a new friend's house on Wednesday for "girl's dinner." She is an accountant who just moved with her boyfriend from Manhattan to Denver. They bought a house and everything inside is new and shiny and adult. I should have been an accountant. I don't even have curtains.

I realized that everything in my house - decorations, furniture - is either left over from college, or cost $50 max when it was purchased. Why can't I be an adult with a job that actually pays me and actual real-person furniture that isn't covered in Papa John's garlic dipping sauce stains?

That led me to Google, "How much money should I be making?" One of the first links on a list is a Salary Calculator. Insert your job title and your area, and it will tell you the average amount of money a person with that job should be making in your location.

Injustices will be revealed! I thought. I will know the truth, and be driven to correct these damages done to me and my paychecks!

I entered "Marketing Coordinator" in "Denver, Colorado." Hm... that's funny. Not a super huge injustice.

Well, how about, "Publicity Coordinator" in "Denver, Colorado." ...even less of an injustice. (rude)

Apparently I picked the wrong profession. I should have been a dermatologist, then my cable wouldn't get shut off causing me to miss new episodes of 30 Rock. Please send money.