Tuesday, January 25, 2011

nocturnal nuisance

It’s only 2:00 p.m. but I’m already internally debating whether I indulge in a fourth cup of coffee or splurge on a soda. Regardless, I’m going to need another caffeine boost very soon. The weariness is worrisome because with every new cup o joe or cola I am fully aware that I’m ingesting yet another healthy dose of aspartame/toxic sweetener (toxic sweetener is a weird thing to type).

However, I will have to deal with the guilt of sweeteners later, because of these guys:



I’m serious. These guys live in my attic. Plus like, four more of their friends. You would think after a childhood of watching Bambi that these guys would hibernate all winter, but they don’t. Not even close. Instead, they stay up all night playing tag and having dance parties and chattering about their less fortunate squirrel friends that don’t have a nice warm attic to scamper about in at the wee hours of the morning.

I have no idea what they’re doing up there, but last night they were literally shaking the house. Penny and I woke up at least six or seven times – each time coming to in a panic that there was an intruder or an earthquake or some other horrible disaster pulling us out of sleep.

Landlord says there’s nothing she can do until spring when the party is finally over and they have to get moving on with their productive squirrel lives. Otherwise they’ll die in the walls and we’ll have to smell rotting squirrel carcass for months on end. Although I can’t say I would be super regretful for the loss.

Any suggestions for how to silence these intruders before spring has sprung?

I’m not sure I can take much more of the sleep deprivation. It’s going to be the end of them or the end of me – death by exhaustion and Sweet N Low…

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