the great blue bear heist

Today at the office I'm working on wrapping up everything from the raffle. Recycling unnecessary tickets that took me 5 hours to sort, filing away documents that will be helpful for next year's raffle that isn't happening... you know, important stuff.

I came across an empty blue bear box, and the mere sight of it made all my settled rage re-ignite and my disappointment in the human race came rushing back. Arms --> crossed. Brow --> furrowed.

For a few weeks following the blue bear incident, it was hard not to tell the story. After expressing my outrage to all my co-workers and close acquaintances about this crime against humanity (and getting fairly decent reactions out of all of them), I found myself jumping at the chance to preach to strangers about it.

Cashier at Safeway: "How's your day going?"
Me: "Oh. Well. Since you asked, it's not going well at all. You won't believe what happened to me last week."

Woman in the park: "Your dog is so cute! Is she a St. Bernard?"
Me: "Yep, but you know who's not? This lady I met a few weeks ago..."

I started to feel guilty about incessantly bashing the bear thief, so one day I stopped telling the story. But seeing the empty box today makes me realize I need to tell it once more...so that it may be captured here forever. So, this is the story of the great blue bear heist.

Had we sold 25,000 tickets in this year's raffle fundraiser, we would have given away a 3-bedroom condo on the 41st floor of this amazing highrise living building in downtown Denver. The building is right in the heart of the theater district downtown - right across the street from the convention center.

If you ever take a trip to Denver, chances are you'll drive past the big blue bear that stands 40 feet tall outside of the convention center. His official title is, "I See What You Mean." I guess meaning that he's super curious and interested in all the neat stuff going on inside the convention center.

Anyway... when we started doing promotions for the raffle, we contacted the theater district to see if they were interested in partnering at all. Response was pretty bleak and eventually they just wound up donating 30 of these blue bear figurines that I guess they had lying around. Actually, this is exactly what the lady said in her email, "Well, I can definitely mention something about this raffle thing at my next meeting. Until then, we have tons of these blue bears down here. How does 30 sound?"

Whatever. Beggers can't be choosers.

So as the raffle went on we realized that we had no practical use for our little blue bears. Should we copy travelocity and have the blue bear do funny things around the city like drink coffee and hail cabs? Should we do some crazy Facebook campaign where the blue bear makes all our raffle announcements? Say your favorite thing about downtown Denver and win a blue bear! All lame.

So... for a few months we sat on these blue bears, until one day the condo prize-building invited us to set up a booth at an open house they were doing. I figured I'd haul the box of blue bears down there, and if anyone purchased a raffle ticket at the open house event, they could have a blue bear. Buy a $100 ticket - you could win a condo (plus a million other prizes), you support the Clubs and the kids of Colorado, and hey, you get this cool blue bear thing too. Here is what they look like...

So I'm all set up at the open house - next to Jamba Juice who was giving away free smoothies and as such was 98 percent more popular than me. People would grab a free Cliff Bar at the Cliff Bar booth... mosey over to claim their mango madness and then, with giant, satisfied grins, they'd stroll to my booth...

Once they laid eyes on our neatly fanned brochures and pictures of poor, hispanic kids, they'd avert their eyes in a geez... way to ruin my day, kind of way - but a few sips of free smoothie later all would be right again.

Sitting in a booth where no one wants to talk to you unless you're giving them something shiny or something they can eat is excruciating.

I tried to lure people over by displaying two of the blue bears on either side of my brochures. This was a mistake. Not two minutes after the blue bears were out on the table I was approached by her.

Her: (with a slight foreign accent... Italian? Greek? something around there) Oooo! Blue bears! How cute!
Me: Ah yes, I know! Everyone loves the blue bears.
Her: I want one.
Me: Excellent! Well, I'm giving away blue bears to anyone who purchases a ticket today for the raffle. You can win a condo here, and the proceeds support Clubs throughout Colorado.
Her: (expression falling) I don't want to buy a ticket. I already live here.
Me: Well, actually, if you win the grand prize you can choose between the condo or $1 million cash! We also have a number of cash prizes, trips to Italy and China, two cars, a whole bunch of stuff! (smiling, grinning)
Her: I don't want to buy a ticket. I already live here. I want a blue bear.
Me: Well, unfortunately, I can only give blue bears to people who buy tickets.
Her: (glares. storms off.)

She was a woman in her mid-fifties with a cute little blond-graying bob. She was wearing an adorable gray perfect-for-Sunday-outings cotton dress that I envied, and had a really pretty pink lipstick on. She was totally entitled, and an utter bitch. Five minutes later she came back with the building's Project Manager in tow.

Her: (pointing accusingly at me) She won't let me have a blue bear.
James: (project manager) (gives confused look)
Me: (sighs) I'm giving blue bears to anyone who purchases a raffle ticket today. (we then go through above conversation...again)
James: (to her) Well, you know, if you purchase a ticket you'll be helping a good cause, and then you can have a bear!
Her: I don't want to buy a ticket. I just want the bear.
Me: Oh! You know what! I do remember hearing that the convention center (reminder: convention center directly across the street) has these blue bears for sale for $18.99.
Her: (pointing at bear on table) I want that one.

She now turns to James and makes puppy dog eyes.

Her: Remember a couple of months ago? My husband was interviewed by the paper about living here and he gave a great review? Well, I never got anything for that.
James: Yes, I do remember that and that was really really nice.
Her: Well, I never got anything from that, and now I want this blue bear.
Me: (chiming in) I'll tell you what, you don't have to buy a ticket. You can just make any donation to the Clubs and I'll give you one.
Her: No! I don't want to. I just want a blue bear. (she makes a pout face and storms off with her third free jamba juice)

For the next hour I sat and thought about the interaction. Was this lady, who clearly is wealthy to be living in this particular building in the first place, really trying to get me, a poor little nonprofit worker, to give her a blue bear for nothing? When she could just walk across the street and get one herself? And, how does the whole "my husband was interviewed by the paper so I need a blue bear" theory compute? I was still mulling the whole situation over when she returned two hours later...

Her: (approaches with an empty Nieman Marcus bag) I'm here for my blue bear.
Me: Okay, well, I have a ton of people buying tickets, so again, unless you buy a ticket or make a donation I can't give you one.
Two ladies approach on my other side: Can you tell us a little bit about the raffle?
Me: (tell the two nice ladies about the raffle. they take more information and move on)

I turned around to re-address her, but she is gone. I look down at the table and find that I no longer have two blue bears displayed on the table. One, violated-looking blue bear stands alone next to the brochures.

Me: OH MY GOD! SHE STOLE A BLUE BEAR! (I shouted...in absolute disbelief)

....Now... I'll let you come to your own conclusions about what type of woman steals from a nonprofit that helps children. I don't need to go there. I'll also let you come to your own conclusions about what type of karma results from this situation. I just wanted to tell you the story so that you know that people like that do exist, and they are rotten, and that somewhere in this world there is a blue bear unlawfully peering out of cute lady's window, curious about how exactly it got there...